It’s fun to imagine T.I.’s life these days, milling around his house (don’t call it house arrest), mixing new tracks while wearing his ankle monitor and a terrycloth bathrobe. His single “No Matter What” has got kind of a “Stay gold, Ponyboy” feel to it. “I ain’t dead, I ain’t done, I ain’t scared,” he tells us in the chorus. And occasionally he drops a quotable like this one:
You let the blog sites and the magazines tell it
I’m sho’ to be in jail till 2027
Not that we’d ever wish that, Tip. But we’re still smarting from this clunker from his 2006 collabo with Justin Timberlake, “My Love”:
They call me candle guy
Simply because I am on fire
Wish were it true that T.I. really moonlighted as a waxsmith, or that he grew up working summers in Atlanta’s sweltering paraffin factories. Hell, if the Rubberband Man teamed up with Yankee Candle Co., they’d probably come up with some wicked hemp-related flavors. (Also: Can you call it “flavor” if you don’t eat it?) Seriously, if Top Back Scenteds ever make it out of the factory, mark us down for three cases. But if this whole line is about “Hey, what other stuff’s on fire?” then we cannot abide. T.I., you are in the Registry.